A lot of people think that adoption is this beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing...and at times it is. But the movies and television shows usually only portray the happy side of adoption. You see a small child, smiling, walking into the arms of his new parents and every one is happy. Sadly, this isn't the reality a lot of the time. Older children have a better understanding of what is going on and most likely have been shown pictures and have even "Skyped" with their parents. But younger children, especially toddlers, have no idea what is going on and only see strange people in front of them.
I posted a lot about our trip to China when we adopted Asher. It was so amazing and we are so excited to go back. But when we met Asher for the first time, it was not a rosy, movie quality meeting. We did record the whole thing but we have only shown that video to our immediate family because there is so much chaos and sadness involved. When we first saw Asher, of course I wanted to run up, grab him, hug him and never let go. But to Asher, he didn't see us as people he trusted. He had no clue who we were and he didn't want to have anything to do with us. I'm sure he was thinking who are these strangers, why are they trying to hold me, why are my caregivers trying to give me away. While we sat in a very small room with about five other families who we could see holding their child, playing with them and loving on them; we sat there for over a half hour trying to bribe our child to come to us with toys, snacks, candy, etc. Eventually I just had to grab Asher and he screamed, he cried, and ultimately he grieved.
Although adoption IS beautiful, it is important to remember that adoption is also traumatic and can be a very scary event for a child.