It's funny when you think that you control your life....
It was April 10, 2015 and it was my 30th birthday. I was now 30 years old and still had no babies. I had recently learned that I had a medical test come back with not so great results. The future of our family was unknown but I still held onto hope that everything would work out. But a month later, Jay and I made the hard decision to let go of our dreams of ever having biological children. My health was obviously more important at this this point. So two and a half years ago, I lost my ability to ever have biological children. The life we had planned was gone...
I have to laugh when I read 'the life WE had planned' because I now realize we don't plan anything in our life. We follow a greater plan, God's plan. Little did I know that day two and a half years ago, as I was facing the unknown of having a family, that my child was already born. Asher was already waiting for me! Then a few months later as we started thinking and talking about the possibility of adoption, Adam was born. Our second child that we didn't even have in our hearts yet, was born and he was waiting...waiting for us.
As I sit here writing this, I'm just amazed at how everything works out. It's crazy to think that one small change and nothing would be the way it is now. If I would of chose not to have surgery and pursue a different option, if we wouldn't have decided we wanted to adopt, if we wouldn't of had amazing people step forward and support us before we even said yes to adopting... So many things played out perfectly making our family the way it is now and ultimately God knew this was how it would happen all along!
Eleven months ago today, we held Asher for the first time and hopefully in about six months we will have Adam in our arms! Adoption wasn't our plan, it was God's plan for us. Two and a half years ago, I would have never imagined my life the way it is now. This journey has shown us the true meaning of family and that it is not dependent on being related to someone by blood.
If you're out there feeling lost with what's next in your life, keep your eyes on him because he is shinning the light and paving the road you are supposed to be on. Things may already be in place for your future that you don't even know about yet! Don't be afraid of the unknown because such amazing things are waiting for you. You may have to step out of your comfort zone but in the end it is worth it!